The progression of the matter...

Upon examination of Star Tribune's Myron Medcalf's count of Twin Cities marathon winner Jason Hartmann, I might have done a few things differently.

With a lead that reads, "For most of the day, Jason Hartmann, winner of Sunday's Twin Cities Marathon, never worried about losing." The reader is led to think that this runner had his strategy and training in the bag. We believe the seasoned runner didn't ever worry about the race and was confident he'd win.

In the second graph, Medcalf continues to illustrate the runner and the event, noting the details of the day and the race. The third, describes his $25,000 prize. And, because he place the name of the runner in his lead, we can assume the entire story is going to focus on this winner of the race.

His quotes accurately portray his subject, Hartmann, and are illustrative of the runner's charisma and character. What marathon winner simply says, "It was a good day to run," after finishing a "simple" 26.2 mile race? The quote is catchy and pulls the reader right in.

We are given the happy details of Hartmann's win.

But then Medcalf backtracks.

He discusses a critical decision Hartmann made--to pick up a water bottle he'd dropped in the last miles--in order to achieve that win. It is only until Medcalf goes on to discuss the dropped water bottle that we realize the story is really about his character and strategy as a runner, not merely that he won the race.

While, one could argue that the lead makes that indication when Medcalf wrote, "for most of the race," the lead reads as if it is merely a casual statement. As if the runner really hadn't worried at all.

Medcalf then goes on to recount the details of Hartmann's childhoold and collegiate careers, bringing the reader back full circle to Sunday's race.

My argument, is that Medcalf didn't make a clear choice about the kind of piece he was writing. Was it the details of the race, and the mindset of the athlete? Or was it a profile of the athlete and his charisma. Though he was working under deadline, I believe had he made the decision earlier, he might have reworked, or re-ordered the piece to create a clear intent. The reader shouldn't have to work to find meaning, the writer should guide him or her clearly through any argument, narrative or written prose.